Hey guys,
I think one of the things I struggled the most with when I was younger was socialising.
I don't mean this as I was antisocial. But I was in a way. Sure I'd feel comfortable talking to people I knew, but when left in a room with someone new, it'd be really awkward.
I remember, back when I lived in Abu Dhabi, we had new neighbours, and one of their daughters were my age (in my year) and starting at my school, so we offered to give her a ride. Not only did my mum leave us sitting alone on the living room sofa, she also put me in an awkward position by telling me to take photos with the girl, which was very,very awkward but...
Now that I think about it, my mums refusal to pick up on an awkward situation, was useful because it helped to break the ice and the girl and I became quite good friends soon after.
Moving on, these are my top five tips for making new friend, try some and feel free to comment if they've worked for you:
- Never, ever speak about the weather. -Talking about the weather is one of the worst things you could do, it's almost as bad as going "Well, this is awkward" because instead of making things less awkward, you're actually highlighting the silence. Bare in mind, I'm talking about making new friends, not about how you should act with your current friends. If someone was to fill an awkward silence with my current friends, we'd all burst out in laughter
- Get into hobbies or communities where you'll naturally meet a lot of people, ones you already have something common with and a built-in activity/conversation opportunity to do with them. this means put yourself in a situation where lots of potential friends are around, and you naturally have to get to know them through your day-to-day interactions. Work and school are the two big ones.
- Always try asking some questions about the person. -This is really useful if you run out of things to say, or if you had nothing so talk about in the first place. Bare in mind that different situations may call for different types of questions. There the basic questions that you could ask after you've introduced yourself: "what's your name?" "how old are you?" "where did you move from?". But there are also questions that you should ask in particular circumstances e.g. if there was a new student in your school, you might want to ask: -"What school did you used to go to?"
- Once you've found a potential friend, try inviting them out somewhere you thing you'd both enjoy and see where the friendship blossoms from there.
- Do your best to accept every invitation
If at first people invite you out and you constantly decline, they will just give up and stop inviting you to places. This is bad because it means that you're out of the loop. What I'd recommend you do is accept the first five-eight times they invite you out, then you start being the one to invite people out. After that, You can do whatever you want because they know that you'd be up for going if you are free and not that you're the one that never goes anywhere.
Overall, meeting new people may require making an effort to pull out of your day-to-day routine. If most of your hobbies are solitary you might also need to add some more people-oriented ones to the mix. Also, the easiest way to naturally meet a lot of people is just to live a full, interesting life and run into lots of potential friends as a Bonus.
Anyway, I've got another quote and picture for you all,
Hmm...HMM..
Remember,If you want new friends and a social life, you've got to do something to make it happen
-Anonymous
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